Friday Rainy Day Rants

Tropical Storm Andrea has blessed us with a rainy day.  I love chilly, rainy weather.  It gives me a good excuse to stay inside and knit, instead of  coming up with excuses to stay inside and knit and then having to admit that I'm only outdoorsy in the sense that I like to drink on patios.

I picked up my darling niece from daycare, as she had an upset stomach.  We snuggled in bed, and skyped with my 94 year old grandfather for about 15 minutes - which means we spent 5 minutes explaining to him how to plug in his webcam, 5 minutes clarifying that it was my niece was sitting next to me, not my daughter, and 5 minutes trying to interpret his speech without his teeth.  It was a great morning.

But then. . .  so last week I ordered the wrong book from book renters and received a Micro book instead of a Macro book (yes, I am really blond under this hair dye).  I needed a Macro book to use for our open book take home test (ah summer semester, how I love thee) so I went to two different stores to attempt a purchase. And, here begins my rant (each of these could be it's own post, so yes I did edit my whining, believe it or not):

1. Why the eff are textbooks SO expensive? Really? $220.50 for a Macro text that they will then attempt to buyback for 30 bucks or less? And, we've only cracked it in class once. 
2. Pajama jeans? To class? No. Just. No. Actually, No. Ever. 
3. Dear Ex, Yes. I really do have Crohn's. Stop intonating that I am faking it. I've had it longer than you thought you had me. Also, if a diagnosis can be definitively made via medical tests, such as a blood test or a colonoscopy (multiple times) - ya can't fake it!  Don't you have a NURSING degree that I helped pay for? Don't they teach that at nursing school? 
4. Why is Facebook becoming more like myspace everyday? You want to how I'm feeling, Facebook? I'm feeling like I'm stuck in 2003. 
5. House - why the carp are you so freaking messy?!  Didn't  I JUST clean you last weekend? Why do I still have all this crap? I feel like a hoarder, until I watch Hoarders and then I feel only somewhat of an over consumer. Who just remembered I forgot something I meant to get at Target. 
6. I've had two pedicures in the past month. I've been using my aloe-infused moisture socks and slathering on lotion, so why is my right foot so dry it has it's own British accent? 
7. Why do we not have a Karaoke bar in Portland? Seriously? No, really. I'm serious.
8. As much as I love bacon, I am not a fan of the restaurant Nosh. Why name a place a Yiddish word, and then dust all the food with PORK? And if they are supposed to be "nosh" sized servings, why are they so expensive? And why do you sell PBR, like it is a refined product? GD hipsters! 
9. Hipsters!!!! I hate that you are now a market to which we must tailor general tastes.  You infest our city with Urban Outfitters, Toms and PBR in good restaurants. I thought the whole point of a hipster was to be anti-mainstream.  But you are now so mainstream, you are your own stream. It wasn't cool when I was in high school and it was emo-goth, it's not cool now that I'm in my thirties and see my peers wearing bicycle locks for belts.
   
10. What is up with all the added carp in food that we don't need? Corn syrup, preservatives, colors.  I can get behind Calcium and Vitamin D in my milk or OJ.  But probiotics in my fro-yo?  Really? Not everyone can eat that.  Why do I have to be denied frozen creamy goodness because Jamie Lee Curtis talks about yogurt so much it became a thing? At this rate I will be reduced to buying unpasteurized sheep's milk from a farmer that smells like patchouli, and sings Gregorian chants on one foot.  Bandwagon begone!
11. I miss books.  I love my Kindle. I really do.  I love that it syncs with my computer and my phone.    I love that I can purchase books while sitting in the bathroom.  I love that Lilly and I can read the same book, at the same time, that I only have to buy one of. But I miss ink, the heft of a book in my hand, and the smell of new pages. 
12. I belong to a number of social media support groups for Crohn's, IBD and IBS.  Why do people whom have these diseases misspell them? You have the disease, your excuses are invalid. Learn how to spell it, you look like an idiot.  
    
13. I hate how first world this list is.  It is free donut day at Dunkin Donuts with the purchase of a beverage.  And that has made my afternoon better.  If you have problems that can seem lighter with a free, super fatty fast food covered in chocolate, and you have money to pay for the accompanying beverage, you don't really have problems.  

          Except maybe that Karaoke bar thing.


- Em

Linkage:

Textbook prices rising:  http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/01/why-are-college-textbooks-so-absurdly-expensive/266801/

Slovenly America:  http://www.forbes.com/sites/boblutz/2012/06/11/america-the-slovenly-dressing-down-and-blimping-up/

Hipsters mainstreaming it:  http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2013/05/13/hipsters-are-mainstream-poll-finds/

Probiotics hype:   http://www.nbcnews.com/id/27454348/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/t/probiotics-more-hype-help/#.UbI-mpWAHzI

Crohn's history: http://www.crohnsandme.com/crohns-information/history-of-crohns.aspx

Free donut day:  http://business.time.com/2013/06/07/free-donuts-everything-you-need-to-know-to-celebrate-national-donut-day/