Conversations of late in my household:
Crumbsnatcher: "Are you baking something?"
Me: "No."
Crumbsnatcher: "Then why do I smell burning?"
(Oh, fuckyou very much! Actually I was boiling water . . .)
"Just because you sandwiches are in the shape of mustaches doesn't mean your manners have to fly out of the window." PR to crumbsnatchers.
Me: "Hey, want a lesson on living life?"
Crumbsnatcher: "Sure."
Me: "Don't leave smelly sneakers in front of a running fan."
"Please stop trying to lick your elbows. No, that doesn't mean to lick each others elbows." Me to (does it really need to be said?)
(inaudible mumble)
Me: "What? WHAT? I can't hear you! I'm in the bathroom with the fan on. . . "
(inaudible mumble)
Me: "I STILL CAN'T HEAR YOU! I don't care what you do. Leave me alone until I'm done!"
(truth be told, this conversation occurs between me and any number of people in the house, sometime visitors)
Girl Crumbsnatcher to Boy Crumbsnatcher: "Please stop meddling with mars. You'll mess it up! Then where would we be?!"
Auntie: "You have a great singing voice!!! Even better, I think, than your mom!"
Crumbsnatcher: "I know." A sigh. A look around. "Don't tell her, but sometimes she hits a flat note."
well, scuuuuuuuze me!
Me: "Do you want to take voice lessons?"
Crumbsnatcher: "No. I don't need them. Voice lessons are if you need to improve your voice."
Me: "Hurry up! Get your shoes on! We are running late!"
Crumbsnatcher: slowly walking towards his shoes "A wizard is never late."
Me: "If he misses the bus because he's dead meat, he will be!"
Crumbsnatcher to me, about what new careers I could have: "You should open up a waffle shop! And make and sell your Mom-waffles!" Takes a bite. Thinks very seriously. "Except you would have to put up a sign about hand washing. Because not everybody knows your rule about that."
Hope your house is half as entertaining.
- Em
Adorable!
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